This week we will move into October, the scariest month of the year.  Our minds will wander from Halloween to the impending winter to… lab?

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Find the right box.  Crush the dry ice.  Assemble the package.  Get a FedEx number.  Fill out the forms.  Schedule a pick-up.  Pay for the package.  Wonder why there’s not a better way…

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Woody Allen famously said “80% of success is showing up.”  At the bench, there are days when this number feels closer to 99. Although we all live for the mind-blowing, cutting-edge, high-impact experiments, the reality is that much of what we do on a daily basis is routine.  But it’s these mindless tasks that can be the real killers…

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Whoever invented the slow cooker (aka, crock pot) must have been a scientist… “How can I set up my meal in five minutes so that when I get home tonight, around 12 hours from now, an incredible meal will await?”  Well we should all take a moment to honor that genius, because without their invention, deliciousness like this wouldn’t be possible…

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Graduate school is undoubtedly a key training period in which we learn to carry out independent research in preparation for our future career.  The postdoc is considered an essential step on this pathway.  But what determines when we’re ready to step out on our own?  When do we officially become a scientific expert?

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This question is directed towards people who think that ranking ~24,000 scientific journals according to a negotiable, irreproducible and mathematically unsound measure is a practical way of sorting the wheat from the chaff. The specific uselessness of Thomson’s IF aside, if this ranking were done in the best possible way, what would be a consequential way of using it?

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It’s a shame that superheros like Brainiac and Elixir weren’t scientists.  Their abilities – superhuman intelligence and controlling the structure of all organic matter, respectively – would have made them each a great professor and synthetic chemist…

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The bump guard lesson is usually learned one of two ways:  A) someone teaches you, or B) someone doesn’t.  The former is ideal and you may have no idea how lucky you are.  The latter looks like this…

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Pets can prove to be a good choice in graduate school.  In fact, studies have shown that pets (mostly dogs) can help to battle loneliness¹, reduce stress², and improve mood³, three areas that any grad student could use a little help in.  However, if you don’t do your research first, you may feel the opposite of these effects.   That’s why we are providing a guide to deciding whether a pet is right for you at this stage in your life.

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(From the archives of an almost-real email correspondence…)

Dear Tim:

The Widget Company would like to inform you of the following job offer, as head of scientific development, working on the discovery of our next generation widgets….

The email then goes on to state your compensation and your start date. And that’s when the joy of your sweet new salary turns sour…

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